Sunday, August 9, 2015

Working Toward Enjoying Life Again

    I was creating a post for my FB status and decided, why waste my time writing a FB status post, why not just post on my blog and share. Of course I am not sure who all reads my blogs but that is ok too. Not sure who even reads my FB status either ha ha.

     I have been working on my book this morning....I am also looking for places to move to as well...So far top teacher pay scale vs home purchase etc is in Casa Grand Az. Need  I need to check Queen Creek I just haven't done that yet.

      I am really going to try to make it work here in Colorado one more year but not sure I will be able to. I just find myself more and more depressed daily and depression makes it hard to want do anything...getting out of bed is a struggle, I don't want to clean or even do the things I love. I only get out of bed because I absolutely have to...then I get bored  and boredom is depressing too, I don't like boredom so am thinking moving sooner might be the best thing

     I don't like bored eating makes you gain weight and I don't wanna gain weight...funny how a post goes from working on my book to gaining

     Right now I am struggling to decide what I want. I know I am extremely unhappy, restless and bored. I just want to be happy, satisfied and enjoy life. I mean I don't have a lot of years of life left, my life is more than half over so I don't want the last years, the ones that really should be the most free and fulfilling, to be my worst and the right now life is just not fun.

     Now don't get me wrong, I do not expect life to be perfect and I don't expect to have fun all the time. But I do want to at least wake up each day looking forward to the day and what it might hold, I do not like waking up each day wishing night would come because I am not satisfied with the day and just want it to be over. That is just no way to live.

     All of this is in my control though, I have to find what it takes to feel like life is truly worth living again, I have to decide exactly what I want and find ways to get what I want. That is not easy and will require sacrifices but I have to find a way to get to that place in my life. It will take a while to get there because I know where I am right now is where I have to be. I think that is the hardest thing for me.

     So this next few weeks will be working toward finding  ways to enjoy life again. I know one thing is that I need to stop this bored eating since I do not like the extra pounds I have put on. I need to find a way to be satisfied with life right now so I can start enjoying the things I love again.