Saturday, August 15, 2015

Their Boots are Made For Walkin

     It doesn't mean you did something kind  because you feel guilted into it. It only means you are a pushover who lets people walk on you...and well, being a person who lets others walk all over you is something that is very hard to change. Yes there are a lot of people who walk over others, I am not sure if they realize it or not...really I don't see how they can't see that they are like that but maybe they are that ignorant.

     I have let people walk all over me for years. I do like to help people out but sometimes I am also guilted into helping people who really should have stood on their own long ago. I get told that they just have nowhere else to go, they really need help. So I give in when I really don't have the resources to help them out, I barely have the resources to take care of my own family.

     People tell me I don't have to help other people, I don't have to let them take advantage of me and I should stand up for myself. Well I know that, I know it better than anyone else could ever know it but I just can't seem to say no. Instead I just fume inside and become angry at the ones who are taking advantage of me.

     I wonder why I can't just stand up and say to these people, "you really need to find a way to do things on your own and I'm sorry for you but I just can't help."  I just can't do that and it makes me mad at myself.

    Then on the other hand, if people would not over step their boundaries I might not mind helping them out. But, most of them take over and seem to think that you owe them something. They get angry when things are not going their way, in your home. They do things that put you out in your own home and well that makes me even more angry and causes a lot of friction. But instead of just telling them I seethe inside.

     I have actually asked things of people who I help out and they seem all ok with what I ask, then when it comes down to it, they don't respect me and what I ask  of them.  I never ask them to help pay for the water they use or the extra electricity it takes to have them around, I just ask them not to do certain things that I just don't like in my home. Now it would be nice if they would help out with the water and other things since they are not family and I owe them nothing. I mean I am giving them a home where they shower and have light and electricity for their they offer to help pay for that extra water they use? Nope instead they buy new toys etc.

     I do think if one time these people who I help out would do what they say and really appreciate the help by being respectful in my home and respectful of my wishes I might not mind helping out. But so far the ones I've helped, the non-family people,  have not shown me that. Well actually one person did, but only one.

     So here I am back to wondering why I help people who I really do not want to help, why I let other people guilt me into it and why I let people walk all over me. That is a question I still ask, because if I am not doing it out of the kindness of my heart then well it really isn't being kind and it is letting people walk all over me.. I still wonder why I can't just say no.

    So as the title says, Their Boots are Made For Walkin and they walk all over me.....hopefully I can find a way to start kicking back!