Saturday, August 29, 2015

Presenting Yourseld Poorly For Hire

     The new craze now days is to look for work online. It is a good way to reach out and find out who is hiring and a good way for employers to get the word out without payiing for advertisement. It is not as efficient as it was in the day where you "hit the pavement," but it works.

     Many employers look to the social network sites such as Facebook to search for prospective employees. I think this is just fine but I have noticed some of those prospetive employees do not present themselves well in just that short time they post on Facebook.

    If I were hiring someone from Facebook I would not hire the person who uses text lingo typing "do u know of places who r hiring?" I am sorry but that is just lazy to me and whether or not it is just text lingo, it makes me think the person is not  that bright. It makes them look dumb in my eyes.

   Another thing that would turn me off of a prospective employee is for them to just post "places hiring." That to me says they are too lazy to even type a full sentence, or not smart enough. It also makes me wonder if they are saying places are hiring or if they want a job.

    So come on people, if you want a job present yourself in a way that tells an employeer you are not a complete moron and you can type a full sentence and do know how to type full words. It is not that difficult. Good grief, job hunting has been made easy, you just sit at home and say you are looking. Don't be so lazy that you can't present yourself better than the simplistic way I've seen lately on Facebook.

     That is my rant for today.

Social Website Friend: Real Life Enemy

     I have wondered for a long time why people remain Facebook friends with people they hate in real life. It has been a question that has been on my mind for quite some time.

     I see people post things about people they just cannot stand in real life but yet they remain friends on Facebook. They sometimes get into these little Facebook fights and it can get ugly. I keep thinking as I read the posts in the fight, surely these people will unfriend each other if they dislike each other this much.  I know, I should  just move on and not read the drama dribble but for some reason curiosity drives me to keep reading, maybe I just need a chuckle.

     What is interesting is that I know these people who dislike each other so much are not friends in real life. Some of them don't even get into fights on Facebook but remain friends there. They comment about each other from time to time just because and the relationship on FB remains.

     Personally I do not want people I don't even like in real life to know what goes on in my life. I wonder if those who keep the non friends around want them to be jealous or are just curious about the person they do not like and what happens in their life.

     Either way  I am still confused about it all and still wonder why anyone wants to have anything to do with people who drag them down because anyone you dislike that much drags you down whether you know it or not...

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Long Lost Friend

     Many years ago in a time far away I had this friend, I had this very good friend,this very close friend who I cared about very much. In this time far away my friend and I did a lot of fun things. We went to the lake one time and used Crisco Oil as tanning lotion thinking it would really help us tan. Well it did not help at all, we fried like uh well, french fries. It was hilarious.

     My friend from long ago and I were there for each other through the heartbreaks of young love. We cried on each others shoulders as our hearts were of course broken. She was then there for me later on when I got married and served in my wedding as Maid of Honor.

     We were there for each other as we both were heartbroken at not being able to have children. Then one day I got pregnant and she not long after my first child was born got the call that there was a baby for her to adopt.

     Our children grew up together. We took them to storytime at the library, went swimming, hiking, on picnics and had many play dates at each others houses.  We shared our joys and tribulations of parenting. My youngest son was a part of the fun when he came along.

     When our kids were in their teens they drifted apart but my friend and I remained close. Time would pass where we didn't get to talk much, months sometimes, but then we would get together and it would be like old times. When I really needed a friend, she was always there for me. I tried to be there for her as well.

     Then one day a couple of years ago for some unknown reason she decided she no longer wanted to be my friend. There had been some stuff posted on my Facebook wall about some stuff that she got upset about but it was nothing I thought of as major and I did not post some of it. It was then she unfriended me on Facebook and I was rather shocked. I tried to apologize for the post and let her know that it was not even aimed at her. But she did not accept my apology.

     It was not that she just unfriended me on Facebook that bothered me, it was that she removed me from her life. At Christmas I decided to send her a message and just tell her Merry Christmas and that I was sorry she hated me. She just said that she had decided it was time for us to go our separate ways. To this day I still do not know why. I still wonder what happened in our friendship for her to throw away 32 years of friendship. Did she need me at one time and I wasn't there? Did I need her too much? I have no clue.

     I try not to think about my long lost friend much, I try to just put her in my past but sometimes it is hard and sometimes I miss the friendship. I miss just calling her to chat, I miss going to get a coke, I miss the friendship we had.

     I wish I knew why she decided she no longer wants to be friends, but she has washed me from her life, it makes me sad however I do not dwell on it. I do have great memories and maybe someday she will decide to be friends again, I do not know. I just know I miss that long lost friend ....

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Let Them Be Kids

     Today as I was thinking about my little grandson entering Head Start at barely 3 years old and thinking how he is still acts like a baby in many ways it made me realize that he is just a baby. He has only been on this earth for 3 short years. Learning how to sit still is a huge job for someone his age. I thought about many other kids his age who may seem older in some ways and that caused me to rellize that is so sad and it might just be possible that one of the reasons kids struggle so much in the world today, why kids are having babies as young as 13 years old, why kids are experimenting with drugs as young as 6 years old, why so many kids are finding it hard to cope with life as teenagers and later young adults just might be because society expects them to grow up too fast. They really are never allowed to be kids, that is being taken away from so many kids and well, that is sad.

     The learning bar has been raised for Kindergarten age kids to the point that Kindergarten is no longer the transition into becoming a school student, now children need to be prepared for Kindergarten by going to Head Start. In Head Start they also lose some of their childlike ways because they are expected to grow up way too fast.

     By first grade kids are expected to know how to read. If they don't most of the time they are labeled with some sort of learning disability. They are placed in special classes or groups and even though those labels might not be place on their little forehads they are imbedded into their being to the point many young kids never have the confidence to succeed. They always feel "dumb". Maybe if they had been allowed to just be a kid a bit longer they would have succeeded later in their school career.

    Don't get me wrong, I do not think there is anything wrong with kids learning things at a young age, but it is wrong to expect them to learn too much at a young age. It is wrong to rob them of those precious years when they are carefree, silly and young. A three year old should be worried about imagination play and learning the things he or she wants to learn. He or she should not be forced to act like a five year old at three. If he is immature at three, that is ok because well, he is just three.  If he still wants his mommy at three, that is ok. He is just a three year old.

     My little grandson knows his ABC's, can count, recognize numbers, knows his shapes and colors. He is also very cuddly and sometimes clingy. He acts like a three year old, sometimes he acts like a baby and well, that is fine since he is a baby, or maybe toddler is the better word.

    He is headed to Pre-School in a few days because sadly like many parents in todays world, both of his parents have to work and grandma has to work to survive too. So, he has to enter the school age world. My hope is that he can still be a baby in many ways, it is ok for him to want to play, it is ok if he is clingy and acts like a baby sometimes...because well, that is what he is.

     Society is so ready for kids to grow up and succeed at such a young age when emotionally they are just not ready. Let the kids in Kindergarten color and play with crayons. Let them play with dolls, play house and whatever fun dramatic play they enjoy. Yes they can mind and yes they can learn but society needs to stop taking away their childhood and expecting more of them than they are able to give.

     Taking away their childhood sets many kids up for emotional hard times later on, they can't cope with the teen year struggles and many can't cope with adulthood either. So while they are kids, let them be kids.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Songs Written by Blake Miller

    My son is an amazing musician and writer. his name is Blake Miller and I know someday many people will know his name because of his amazing talent.  Blake has written some beautiful and amazing songs. He has been in a few different bands. One of his bands actually was on its way to becoming known but the lead singers decided to back out. I am not sure what the reason was. My personal opinion is that they don't want to really make a go of muisc but to just play in the small town we live in. My son, Blake, on teh other hand wants to make a living playing his music and wants it to be heard by everyone. He knows that will never happen until he moves to an area that appreciates his amazing talent.

     I love sharing his music though. The songs he has written are amazing, so I am going to share some of his music here on my blog. I also have the EP that he and his old band Arsenic Kitchen recorded for purchase. If you are interested please let me know and you can purchase one for $5.00.

     Here are a few clips of some live performances. My son wrote all of these songs and is the one playing the lead guitar..the on with the hair.

Air that I Breathe Acoustic
Air that I Breathe
Scars
Shanghaied
 

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Pondering the Point of it All

     Have you ever had so many strange and well, way out there thoughts in your head that you just feel super overwhelmed by those thoughts. They are so much bigger than you are, they are in many ways very scary. It is kind of a heart in your throat type of feeling but you know that these thoughts are so much bigger than you are yet, your mind keeps thinking them. That is the kind of morning I had, a pondering the point of it all, the point of life, why we are here, why we live our life each day, where will we go when life is done, is there truly a God, is He truly the creator of the entire universe and well, what if when we die we are....just gone..then why did we live to begin with?

     These thoughts are sometimes disturbing, they are sometimes liberating but most of the time they leave you wondering...wondering if what you believe in is real, true and right. wondering if other people ever get these thoughts in their head. These thoughts seem to go in circles in your mind too..it is hard to explain but I will give it a try. I will start with my first thought and move through all of the thoughts. Some of them were actually a part of a prayer to God asking Him to help me understand these strange thoughts in my mind.

     My first thought came as I was just thinking about death. I was thinking how truly scary the thought of death is. Then my thoughts turned to what comes after death. Is there truly a Heaven? Can I handle the thought that there might not be anything after death? No I cannot, that thought made me feel very scared and sad. So I went back to wondering about Heaven and thinking about what Heaven is.

     Heaven to me is a place where people go if they obey God and do as He wishes them to do, they follow His rules. Heaven is paradise, I am not sure what kind of paradise. I wonder a lot of times if we will have bodies there or just be these ghostly spirits flying about. I do believe that Heaven will be perfection and well, somewhere I truly want to be.

     My mind then took me then to the question of, "what if none of it is true, what if the Bible is not true, what if God is not real? Then what? We live, we die, end of story." my mind could not fathom that at all. It was a very scary thought, as scary as the thought that I might not go to Heaven, as scary as the thought of gong to Hell where I will live in eternal regret. That is one scary thought. It all felt so overwhelming.

     So then my mind wondered what is the true path to Heaven?  I mean. all churches think they have it, they all believe in their hearts that they are the true church and they are the ones who will be with God in the end. I used to know what I believe and most of the time I still do, but these strange times when my mind is wondering, I wonder.....do I really understand? What do I really believe? Is it enough? Does it really matter?

     I know so many wonderful people who are all on different paths to Heaven, so which is right? Which one of these amazing people I love will end up in Hell? What will get them there? I do not want anyone I love to go there. That thought breaks my heart.  I think then of myself and know I do not want to be there. Then I go back to wanting to be sure I know how to get there. I want to be on the right path. The Bible is a very confusing book that opens the door to many different interpretations. Which one is right? Which are wrong? Every person who believes they are on the right path believes that as strongly as the other.

     I also wondered why God did this, why we are even here? I mean is he sitting there watching his little subjects as we all struggle in one way or another? If God did not put us here, then again, why are we here? What is the point of all of this if we live and then we die?


     My mind also went to reincarnation, yes I actually wondered if somehow we die and come back again in another body. Of course I do not believe this, but my mind did approach that thought this morning. It was yet another overwhelming though, that I die and come back in another body.

    To be dead is like being asleep, it is a realm that we really will not even know but I think of the fact that there someday will be no me here on this earth, I will no longer feel or think these thoughts, I will no longer exist... and again, I'm overwhelmed.

    Back my mind goes then to Heaven and Hell, different beliefs and why God did not make the road to paradise easier? Not really easier but the understanding of the Bible easier. Why isn't it clear that we just do this or that and we make it to Heaven? Why is it such a puzzle? Did He not want everyone to make it to Heaven? If so, why does He feel that some should go while others don't make it? The Bible is confusing and there are so many ways to interpret it. So who is right, who is wrong? Where will I end up?

     Finally I had to stop thinking, I had to pray to God because I do believe He is real even if I do doubt things sometimes. I believe the Bible is real but do questions some interpretations and find it hard to understand a lot in the Bible. I do wonder sometimes about those who interpreted it and wrote it, did they get it exact? I am not sure, the only thing I am sure of is that I do want to make it to Heaven and I want those I love to make it there too.  I also know that in 50 years none of this will no longer  matter to me and this morning as I was thinking about that I wondered again about the idea that I will just be sleeping and be no more...or existing forever in Hell.

    I know for me if the Bible just said clearly that I should do this, and better not do that, I would gladly obey. I do not kill nor want to kill, because of God and it is wrong, I do not steal because the Bible states clearly that it is wrong but then there are other things that are in the grey area and those are things that could send a person to Hell, so those are the things that scare me when I am pondering it all.

     In one Bible verse it says that it is wrong to cut your hair if you are a woman, in another verse it says that it is wrong to eat shellfish, then in another it says if a child disobeys, he is to be stoned to death. (I am not quoting verses here because this is not a biblical article, it is an article about my thoughts and how confused they can become)  Most women cut their hair, many eat shellfish, and I can't think of anyone who stones to death a disobedient child. So which law do we choose to follow? Do we just follow the commandments and also show care and love as Christ did when He walked the Earth? Those are the things that baffle me most of all.

     I think that is why God said we could not handle knowing everything, it would drive us mad. I know He did not say that in those exact words but that is what He meant. It does make me feel like I am a bit "mad" the crazy kind of mad, when I try to fathom and ponder the point of it all.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Their Boots are Made For Walkin

     It doesn't mean you did something kind  because you feel guilted into it. It only means you are a pushover who lets people walk on you...and well, being a person who lets others walk all over you is something that is very hard to change. Yes there are a lot of people who walk over others, I am not sure if they realize it or not...really I don't see how they can't see that they are like that but maybe they are that ignorant.

     I have let people walk all over me for years. I do like to help people out but sometimes I am also guilted into helping people who really should have stood on their own long ago. I get told that they just have nowhere else to go, they really need help. So I give in when I really don't have the resources to help them out, I barely have the resources to take care of my own family.

     People tell me I don't have to help other people, I don't have to let them take advantage of me and I should stand up for myself. Well I know that, I know it better than anyone else could ever know it but I just can't seem to say no. Instead I just fume inside and become angry at the ones who are taking advantage of me.

     I wonder why I can't just stand up and say to these people, "you really need to find a way to do things on your own and I'm sorry for you but I just can't help."  I just can't do that and it makes me mad at myself.

    Then on the other hand, if people would not over step their boundaries I might not mind helping them out. But, most of them take over and seem to think that you owe them something. They get angry when things are not going their way, in your home. They do things that put you out in your own home and well that makes me even more angry and causes a lot of friction. But instead of just telling them I seethe inside.

     I have actually asked things of people who I help out and they seem all ok with what I ask, then when it comes down to it, they don't respect me and what I ask  of them.  I never ask them to help pay for the water they use or the extra electricity it takes to have them around, I just ask them not to do certain things that I just don't like in my home. Now it would be nice if they would help out with the water and other things since they are not family and I owe them nothing. I mean I am giving them a home where they shower and have light and electricity for their devices...do they offer to help pay for that extra water they use? Nope instead they buy new toys etc.

     I do think if one time these people who I help out would do what they say and really appreciate the help by being respectful in my home and respectful of my wishes I might not mind helping out. But so far the ones I've helped, the non-family people,  have not shown me that. Well actually one person did, but only one.

     So here I am back to wondering why I help people who I really do not want to help, why I let other people guilt me into it and why I let people walk all over me. That is a question I still ask, because if I am not doing it out of the kindness of my heart then well it really isn't being kind and it is letting people walk all over me.. I still wonder why I can't just say no.

    So as the title says, Their Boots are Made For Walkin and they walk all over me.....hopefully I can find a way to start kicking back!

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

My Pet Peeve: Pets in the Grocery Store

     Today at Wal Mart I saw two different people with dogs in the store. Neither of them were service dogs. The first one was a filthy little poodle or something like that. It was in the front of the shopping cart and not very well behaved. The people were feeding it and they did not look like they needed a service dog to go shopping. It did not have a blanked in the cart to protect the cart and well, I am sorry but that is where people put their food and I just don't want to put my food where a dog's butt has been. What do creatures do from their butt, we all know and well that is not clean. I am sure other people would not want me to take my grandson to the store, let him sit bear butt in the shopping cart with an unclean rear end.  So why is it ok for people to put a dog there?

     The next person I saw with a dog was a man who had a huge dog on a leash. The man was not blind and the dog was not well behaved either. As the man walked around the store the dog sniffed the food on the shelves. To me that is just not acceptably behavior and a service dog would not do that.

     I went to management and they said there is nothing that they can do, I called the health department and they said there isn't much that can be done. Everyone is so worried about protecting the rights of people with animals but no one seems to care about those of us who do not want to shop for groceries in a "pet" store. They don't want to offend them but it is ok to offend those of us who don't  care to put our food where an animal butt has been or we don't want to purchase food an animal has sniffed.

     There is also the issue of people being allergic to animals like me. I itch and can't breathe good if I get animal hair on me. I have to buy groceries so why should my allergies be triggered because someone wants to take their pet to the store. The service animal again is another issue. There are ways to protect people with allergies from the animal hair.

     My suggestion is that a person must have service animal papers to take an animal into the grocery store. That person must also have a blanket for the animal and the store should provide special animal carts for people with animals to protect those with allergies from the hair. The dogs that are not in carts should be well behaved. That is what makes me mad, service animals are well behaved. they do not act like pets. They do not sniff the food, some behave better than children. Pets should never be allowed in a grocery store. People need to leave them at home.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Working Toward Enjoying Life Again

    I was creating a post for my FB status and decided, why waste my time writing a FB status post, why not just post on my blog and share. Of course I am not sure who all reads my blogs but that is ok too. Not sure who even reads my FB status either ha ha.

     I have been working on my book this morning....I am also looking for places to move to as well...So far top teacher pay scale vs home purchase etc is in Casa Grand Az. Need  I need to check Queen Creek I just haven't done that yet.

      I am really going to try to make it work here in Colorado one more year but not sure I will be able to. I just find myself more and more depressed daily and depression makes it hard to want do anything...getting out of bed is a struggle, I don't want to clean or even do the things I love. I only get out of bed because I absolutely have to...then I get bored  and boredom is depressing too, I don't like boredom so am thinking moving sooner might be the best thing

     I don't like bored eating either...it makes you gain weight and I don't wanna gain weight...funny how a post goes from working on my book to gaining weight...lol

     Right now I am struggling to decide what I want. I know I am extremely unhappy, restless and bored. I just want to be happy, satisfied and enjoy life. I mean I don't have a lot of years of life left, my life is more than half over so I don't want the last years, the ones that really should be the most free and fulfilling, to be my worst and the right now life is just not fun.

     Now don't get me wrong, I do not expect life to be perfect and I don't expect to have fun all the time. But I do want to at least wake up each day looking forward to the day and what it might hold, I do not like waking up each day wishing night would come because I am not satisfied with the day and just want it to be over. That is just no way to live.

     All of this is in my control though, I have to find what it takes to feel like life is truly worth living again, I have to decide exactly what I want and find ways to get what I want. That is not easy and will require sacrifices but I have to find a way to get to that place in my life. It will take a while to get there because I know where I am right now is where I have to be. I think that is the hardest thing for me.

     So this next few weeks will be working toward finding  ways to enjoy life again. I know one thing is that I need to stop this bored eating since I do not like the extra pounds I have put on. I need to find a way to be satisfied with life right now so I can start enjoying the things I love again.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Struggling To Survive

   

    Lately I have been thinking about how sad the debt to income ration for most people in the US or at least where I live is very unbalanced. It is sad that people can barely make it on wages that ate one time were great. Yes things cost less then too but the debt to income ratio changed so much that wages did not increase accordingly based on the cost of living.

      Currently where I live in Colorado the average hourly wage is under $10 per hour. The average rent is around $850.00 per month for a fairly small home. Renter pays pretty much all utilities. So let's just say a person is lucky enough to make $10 per hour which is a gross of $1600 per month if they get 40 hours which many employers do not offer. Uncle Sam takes on average at least $300 from that, possibly more. So that leaves a family roughly $1300 per month. From the $1300 per month comes the $850 in rent leaving them with $450 to live on. Out of that $450 they have to pay utilities, gas for vehicles, food and other incidentals and necessities such as clothes etc. That is all if a family rents. If they buy a home it is sometimes less pr month but still that $1300 income just does not go far at all. It is no wonder people struggle to survive. 

     As I think back to when I first got married and my then husband earned $5.00 per hour. That was good money for us. Later he really hit it big and got a job where he made $8.00 per hour. When I started working at a hotel in 1985 I was feeling great to make $4.00 per hour and then later went to work at a greenhouse making $5.00 per hour. At $5.00 per hour our gross income was $800.00 per month when only one of us worked. We took home around $600.00 per month and did just fine. Later when my ex made $8 per hour we were rolling in the dough when he brought home around $1000 per month. We were able to pay rent, buy food, pay for a vehicle, auto insurance, gas and even buy a boat and vacation at Lake Powell a few times each summer. 

     It is sad that things have changed so much that someone making $10 per hour is actually in poverty level while back in the 80’s we felt rich making $8 per hour. Times sure have not changed for the better and again I find it sad that people struggle to survive.