Many years ago I worked for a
writing site, Bubblews. They were a great site but then reverted from serious
and good pieces to literal fluff. So, to follow their rules I started writing
fluff. I took it to the limit and wrote about the Ty-D-Bol Man…I am not sure
who remembers the commercials from the 70’s about the little man who lived in
the toilet and told people about the new toilet cleaning products.
My fellow writers got a kick out of my
fluff articles especially the Ty-D-Bol Man articles. They were short and well,
very much full of fluff. I even added them to a book I put together full of
compilations from my Bubblews days, both serious and fluff.
Now in the year 2020 we are once again a
world obsessed with toilet matters…fluff if you will… The other day I was on
the search for the hot commodity….TOILET PAPER…yes TP has become a hot item. For
some reason because of a pandemic virus that has nothing to do with potty matters
people decided to hoard TP making it next to impossible for those who need it
to purchase.
As I was going from one store to another
looking for TP I was thinking of alternatives to the hot product. I decided
that a water bottle (you know the kind you can squeeze and a stream of water
comes out) would be a great tool to clean my underside when I run out of TP. Then
my thoughts turned to my little friend The Ty-D-Bol Man..as I sat at the light
I laughed out loud very hard. I thought of a story about this little man and
his woes if we all used the squirt bottle to clean our nether regions…
These are difficult times for all of us so
I thought a bit of fluff might be a way to lighten the load…
I would like to share with you my original
fluff pieces and then my new ones. I hope you enjoy…
The Ty-D-Bol Man and 2020’s Great Toilet Paper Crisis
Written March 20, 2020
Many years ago I wrote about marrying the
Ty-D-Bol Man. You know, that cute little man who lives in the toilets telling
us all about new cleaning products. He still lives in the toilet bowl you know,
we are just to busy to see him. I know he is there because well, for no other
reason than I have faith in him…
Right now in the year 2020 many people are hurting for TP. So I thought I
would start using a squirt bottle to clean my nether region.. I wonder what my
little toilet friend is going to do if many of us can’t find paper and we start
using squirt bottles?
I can see the Ty-D-Bol man now, just
floating around in his little boat minding his own business whistling a happy
song when all of the sudden WHOOSH this rush of water floods his boat which
capsizes and SPLASH into the water he goes. Poor little man is now soaked. He
scrambles around trying to get back to his tiny boat with no luck at all. The
water keeps coming at him…he tries to yell for help but his cries are muffled
by the water as it begins to swirl and down the drain he goes.
He finally swims his way to his tiny boat,
dries off and finds himself floating around again only to find that the next
house has the same water bottle. He is just floating around again minding his
own business, whistling his happy tune when swoosh the water fills his boat. This
time he is not knocked out of the boat right away…it fills with water and he
slowly sinks. Poor little man then is hit on the head with a rush of water, not
like a gentle rain, more like a strong force of nature. He then goes through
the swooshing and swirling trying to find is way back to his boat but down the
drain he goes.
Time and time again the poor guy finds his
way to his boat and time and time again he is either washed into the water or
his boat is sunk by the torrential floods
from above. He is becoming very stressed and tired of fighting for his life
every time he gets back in his boat.
One day the Ty-D-Bol Man finds his way back
to his boat after being knocked off. He catches his breath and yells “Hey you
up there, do you know I am here?” The person turns around and looks into his
home, she is an older lady with gray hair. “Well hello down there, who are you?” she asks.
Ty-D-Bol Man: “I am the
Ty-D-Bol Man. I live here in your bowl, I think the world has forgotten all
about me over the years.”
Barbara: “Wow I did not know
you still lived in our toilet bowls. I have not heard of you in years. My name
is Barbara.”
Ty-D-Bol Man: frustrated “Yes
I do still live here and you people have been trying to drown me recently. You
used to send down fluffy little pillows but now you send this huge flood of
water, knocking me off my boat making me get wet and almost drown. I am very
tired of it! Plus it is rather gross in
this water you know.”
Barbara: “I am sorry, we are
in a TP crisis so had to figure something out.”
Ty-D-Bol Man: “Well can you
figure out another way please? I am fighting for my life down here.”
Barbara: “Sorry sir, but this
is the year of the great TP Crisis and well you know it is 2020.”
The End.....until next time....
Where’s the Ty-D-Bol Man When you Need Him?
Written October 27, 2014
After all of the buzz about toilets and bodily functions I got to thinking about the Ty-D-Bol Man. Hew as the little man who lived
in your toilet many years ago. He would tell people about the new Ty-D-Bowl products.
He wore a sailor suit and floated around in a little boat.
I wonder how he ate and such but maybe the
things people left in the toilet provided him food. That is kind of gross.
I sure could have used him the other day
when I had to clean a really filthy toiled at a house I take care of. If he had
been there I would not have had to clean it.
What if I Married the Ty-D-Bol Man
Written October 27, 2014
I wonder what would happen if the
Ty-D-Bol man got married? I wonder if he is still living in the toilets? He was
when I was a kid but hasn’t been around in years. I wonder what would happen if
I married the Ty-D-Bol man?
I also wonder what we would do when not
talking to the women in the bathroom. I can imagine that after our marriage I
would get into his little boat with him and we’d sail of into the sunset. Well,
not the sunset since we are in a toilet bowl but off into the land of
plumbing.
After I married him I’d find out how he
eats and what he eats. That is a scary thought, and then what about Ty-D-Bol
kids? I don’t think I want to marry the Ty-D-Bol Man.
I must have missed you on Bubblews, but now I've found you in Cynthia's group on MeWe. I know I've never read these before. But I didn't have a TV back then either, and hadn't met the Ty-D-Bol man. This is quite an imaginative post.
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