If He Hits Once, Odds Are He Will Hit Again and When that is Not Enough, He Will Hit Her Kids

     There is always an exception to any rule. There are rare instances when a man abuses a woman and then stops. Most of the time though a man who does stop is one who hit the woman while drinking however  never drinks again. Or the man who really wants to change and goes into therapy to change. But, for the most part a man who hits a woman will do it again and again.

     I hear and see it all the time, these women who are with an abusive man. Of course an abusive man is manipulative and can make her believe it is her fault. He is a predator and pretends to be loving, sweet, kind and sorry. He promises he will never do it again. He is a good liar and many times the woman believes him. So she stays. Not long after the last beating, he beats her again. He apologizes and she stays. Some woman end up dead, others eventually do leave but until she finally opens her eyes an sees that he is an abusive person and will never change, she will remain his victim.

     Then there are the women who are with a man who has her so down on herself that she believes she deserves it, he is not only physically abusive but mentally too. He convinces her that she will never find anyone to love her and he is her only hope. So she stays. Once again she will never be out of this type of relationship until she realizes she is worth more. That is the hardest part of all when with the mentally abusive man. This man usually doesn't even apologize, he just tells her she needs to stop making him mad.

     No matter what type of man is doing the beating, he will do it again. No matter how many times he says he is sorry, he will find a reason to hit again. He is only sorry in the moment. He is only sorry that she is upset and he is worried she will leave him so he has to apologize. No one can convince me that he is truly sorry if he ever does it again.

      There are women who do leave this kind of relationship for a couple of years or so, they find a relationship that is not abusive but are not happy in that type of relationship so the woman leaves. Then enter the woman beater, the abuser, the trash. The abusive man keeps saying how much he loves her and how everyone makes mistakes. He showers her with gifts and treats her like a queen. If a woman who has been out of that type of relationship falls for it again then in my opinion she deserves just what she gets. He will start beating her again. That is a given. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

     What is hardest of all is that many times once this abusive piece of trash wins her back and begins hitting her again, that is not enough for him. If she has kids, he hits them too. The kids either start crying while he is beating their mom or they try to defend her. Either makes the man mad so he turns on the kids. Sometimes he does serious damage to the children and many times he kills them. If this happens I think the woman needs to go to jail for murder right beside the abusive man. I mean she knew he was abusive, she got away from him, had a better life but then chose to go back to him again. It is just as much her fault she is abused and it is just as much her fault that her children are harmed.

      I stand by my title, if he hits once, he will hit again and eventually he will turn on the children. If a woman gets out of it and moves on to better things but then later goes back to the abuse, she gets what she deserves, he has not changed. But if she puts her children in harms way then she should have them taken away before he can harm them too. She is getting what she wants, abusive treatment, the children deserve better.

Pink Eye Treated Later and Treated Right Away

Pink Eye 2014

     Back in 2014 my little grandson got pinkeye. His mom did not take him in to get it treated. She washed his eyes and put warm compresses on them but that did not help. My son and her shared parenting time at that time so he had not seen his boys eyes. When we went to pick him up they were horrible. The poor baby could not even open them, his cheeks were broken out and so was his lip. This must have been from the drainage.

     When we got him to town we immediately took him to urgent care and got drops for his eyes. It took several days but he got over it. However the poor little fellow sure did suffer. He had a great attitude and did not cry much but he could not open his eyes for a few days. We would clean the gunk and it would build up almost as fast as we cleaned.
                                                                                                                                                                                   This  morning he woke up with matted eyes and after 30 minutes of warm rags I decided to take him in to urgent care.  There we got drops and started using them. So far his eyes are not to bad. They were red this morning and one of them was swollen but now this evening after drops, they are looking better.

Pink Eye 2016

     So if your child gets pinkeye, get them treated right away. The eye also is not always red, sometimes it is slightly red but if you wait it will become bright pink later on.
It is miserable for them to have that drainage get on their face and make it sore when eye drops will heal them in no time.

Disrespect the USA Equals NFL Boycott

     I love my country, I stand for the anthem and I salute the flag. I do respect a persons right to sit out the pledge or anthem for religious reasons. I do not respect those who choose to disrespect our country because they are trying to "make a point". They are not making a point, they are provoking even more division and are a part of the problem. So until the NFL apologizes for the disrespect of some players it is my right to boycott the NFL, I will not watch, purchase or support anything related to the NFL.

     Don't get me wrong, this is not as serious as a rapist sentenced to only 90 days, that is wrong and I will not support the rapist either. But then I never would have anyhow.

     Those football players who decided to "make a point" by kneeling for the National Anthem are people who have benefited more than most of us by the system they are disrespecting. They make millions tossing around a football for goodness sake. So I do not know what makes them think they are helping the causes they are promoting by disrespecting the country that has given them their livelihood.

     Yes we have a racism problem in the US, it is sad and it is wrong but to disrespect the very country that has provided you such a comfortable life is only causing more division. I am not racist, I love everyone for what they are no matter what color, race or cultural background they come from. We all deserve the same chances in life, we all are also responsible for out own actions and well, sometimes the choices we make are what make life difficult. Yes many are oppressed but there are also those who overcome that oppression. Yes there are people who hate others for the color of their skin or the culture they come from. That is sad but to disrespect our country and anger those who love it so much does nothing to stop the racism.

      It is their right to refuse to  stand for the anthem, it is also their right to spew hatred about the USA and even their right to disrespect the flag. Those who fought and died for this country gave them that right. On the other side of it, it is the right of the rest of us to boycott the NFL and the players who support this kind of disrespect for a county we dearly love.

     Stop and think people, did you help your cause? No you did not, you only made those who oppose your  your cause angry but what is worse is that you made those who support your cause angry too. I still believe we are all equal and will still fight for equality but will not support those who disrespect my country especially when they have benefited from all it has to offer.

Schools Slowly Suck Learning out of Education for Gifted Students

     I was not sure where I wanted to put this post but decided it is broader than my teaching experiences so I decided to put in in my collection of thoughts.

     When my sons were young and first started learning their alphabet and all of those new things kids learn I was so excited because they picked things up quickly. My two year old could count to ten, he knew all of his color words, short words like cat, dog etc by the time he was three years old. He did not just know them, he could spell and write them too. My oldest was reading while in kindergarten. Both of my boys were extremely intelligent and speaking huge words by the time they were in second grade.

     I had high expectations for my sons when they started elementary school. I just knew they would both graduate high school with honors and move on to college with ease. Both of them loved elementary school. They were excited and eager to learn. They were both problem solvers and had strong critical thinking skills at very young ages.

     Elementary school was great for them. When kids are in elementary school there is still a lot of new information to learn. It is enchanting and fun. But then they entered middle school. This is where I saw the decline in my oldest son academically. He did good in 6th grade but by 7th he hated school and was not turning his work in. His teachers told me that he knew the content and could discuss it in class but just would not turn things in. So I had him tested for giftedness but he did not pass because he is a perfectionist and did not work fast enough to pass the tests.

    I watched my son lose interest in school, I watched him turn from a child eager to learn to one who just did not want to get out of bed in the morning to go to that boring place. Finally when he was old enough he left school. He dropped out and decided to get his diploma online. The school in which he got his diploma ended up being a hoax but that is for another blog.

     So on to my second son who is not the perfectionist and did pass the gifted test. He was identified as gifted in 2nd grade. He did great in grade school. He was bright eyed and eager to learn. He was like a sponge and just soaked up any new knowledge. My oldest, smart as he was, was not as excited about learning as his younger brother. This child read all of the time and was always excited to learn. I just knew he would graduate high school with honors and move on to college, I actually figured he would start college around 16 or 17 years old. He loved learning that much. He learned that quickly and retained it with ease.

     Then he went into middle school, his love for new knowledge remained but his love of school started to diminish. In our school district the accommodations they had for gifted students were advance placement classes. My son told me these were the same classes his brother was in but there was more work. It 6th and 7th grade he was learning new things but by 8th grade the new knowledge was coming to an end. By 9th grade he was no longer a sponge, they have totally squashed his love for school. He did not feel challenged at all and he lost interest in school. He tried online school but that was disappointing too. Eventually he dropped school and is going to take his GED.

     Watching my sons and how the schools lack proper accommodations for gifted students is why I decided I wanted to go into gifted education. I want to someday make a difference in the field of gifted education. I have watched how the education system is letting gifted students down. Many gifted learners in the United states are not succeeding in high school. These are the kids who find learning easy and fun but yet the drop out rate for these individuals is high even though many of them are more knowledgeable than those who graduate.

     My son told me one time that he loves to learn, he hated school as he got older because he was no longer learning. It was painfully boring and such a waste of time. I find that sad because it comes so easy to him.

     Then there is me, as a new teacher all bright eyed and eager to teach gifted ed. I was so excited to do things for my students no one did for my own kids. I wanted to be the teacher who helps their minds expand, who provides them the class in which to use their critical thinking and problem solving skills. The class that focuses on the whole child, not the testing robot.

     Administration however is killing teachers passion and making it all about the pay and duty, not the kids because administration takes away the "kid" in kids for test scores. They make it so mind numbing that teachers can't focus on the kids so it becomes about the pay because that is the only way to stick it out. It seems like administrators do not want teachers to focus on the whole child. They only want the teachers to focus on the part of the child who can pass the standardized test. Forget problem solving, critical thinking and well creativity is out the window. These are the things that drive gifted students and lack of the ability to do these  things is what prompt those students to leave school out of sheer boredom.

     I went into teaching gifted education with the hopes that I could  be the cure for the problem, to find  way to fight for the gifted  kids and I will still fight for what the gifted kids need but it is sure not an easy fight. So much emphasis is based on the test, the results of the test and how well the school did as a whole on the test. Emphasis is not placed  on what we see at the end of the day. The emphasis is not on whether or not the kids learn, it is not based on what those kids who will be our rocket scientists, creators and future inventors take out of their time in school. It is again, all about the test.

     So what does the test do for us? What does it do for the future of the kids, these gifted kids who well, score high on these tests because it is easy for them. Does it help their lives at all? In ten years no one will care that Johnny scored high on the standardized test. No one will care that the school scored high as a whole because Johnny did so well on the test.  What will matter is how well he succeeds in life and it will be his ability to problem solve and think critically which will drive his future. If he is just a testing robot he might miss out on what he can become and that will be harmful to society as a whole.


    

Coughing Breaks Windpipe

     I was not sure where to put this post so decided it would work in this blog.

     My youngest son has a broken windpipe. He got this from coughing. I have never heard of such a thing but it happens. It is so strange.

     He has had a bad cold for weeks and also has asthma. He has been coughing very hard but really no harder than usual. He has struggled breathing but no worse than when he has a bad asthma episode. So when he came back from the ER and told me his windpipe was broken I was shocked.

     On Wed night he was struggling to breathe, he was taking more than usual nebulizer treatments. Then the next day at work he was sent home because he was pasty looking and his co workers said he was turning blue. I was home ill so I had a friend of his take him to ER. There they found the broken windpipe.

      I don't think it is broken in the sense as broken in half but has many tears and broken spots in it. This also makes for air bubbles in his blood. Yes bubbles. It is so strange, you can feel them when you touch him. The first night they made his hand hurt because his blood was bubbling so hard.

     I wonder if his inhaler is not partially responsible for the weak windpipe. He does use it more than he should which is commone for an asthmatic. But I wonder if the over use of the Ventolin inhaler has caused his windpipe to weaken.

     Regardless of why this happened it is not at all fun. My son is in a lot of pain and still struggles to breathe.

Those Who Forever Blame Others for Their Transgressions Will Forever Remain the Victim

     When I left my alcoholic husband after trying to make things work for 20 years he told me it was my fault he drank and he made me believe everything wrong in our relationship was my fault. He played the victim, he never took responsibility for the way he let the alcohol destroy us. He never stopped being the victim and well, he never found any kind of happiness or peace in his life.

     For many years I thought maybe it was my fault, maybe I didn't do things right enough, maybe I was not loving enough, maybe I was this or maybe I was that...I doubted everything about how I was in our marriage but, eventually I realized that it was not me, it was him. It was the booze and well, I didn't deserve to live that way.

     My relationship is not really what this is about though, it is about how people who are wrong in a relationship are the ones who always feel like they are the victim. It is about how they will never stop being the victim until they own up to their own flaws and realize that they were wrong. It is about the cheaters who feel cheated once their cheating is revealed. It is about the partiers who feel they are wronged when the person gets tired of being around someone who is never sober. They place the blame for the failed relationship on the other person when their cheating, or drinking is what ended the relationship.

     I have known so many people who go through a relationship cheating, the relationship may not be perfect but that never opens the door to cheating. Cheating is wrong no matter why. If you no longer care, you leave. But, most of the time these cheaters don't want the relationship they are cheating on to end, they just want to be able to "have their cake and eat it too." They are shocked and angered when the person they cheated on is upset, hurt and eventually done. They take on the role of victim when the person they cheated on is the true victim. The cheater blames the one they cheated on for everything wrong in their life and just never take responsibility for their own actions. The alcoholic is the same, he or she never takes responsibility for the role he played in the destruction of the relationship.

     Until these people, the cheaters and the alcoholics or even just partiers, decide to take responsibility for the role they played in the destruction of what they had. Until they own up to what they have done. They will forever remain a victim in every part of life and they will never find true happiness.