Friday, October 27, 2023

Let Her Be Extra

      When I was a teenager I got upset when my mom wanted to know what was going on in my life. That is how teenagers are. 

    Once I became an adult there would be times when my mom would ask me what I was doing and I would think to myself "mom that isn't any of your business" I would roll my eyes in my mind but I would usually tell her. 

    When the phone would ring sometimes I would think to myself, "Oh mom I am busy right now and don't have time to talk." But I would answer anyhow or call her later. Most of the time I wanted to talk but sometimes I felt inconvenienced only because I was busy.

    When I went shopping with my mom it was so fusterating at times. My mom was this shopper who looked at everything, I mean everything. I don't necessarily mean different items. If she wanted toilet paper she would look at every package and have to figure which one was the best deal. This might take several minutes, like 15 or more.  If she wanted soup she would compare just about every can of soup the store had. We laughed about it and she would just say she is a fugle shopper or we just didn't know how to shop.

    When we were on vacation she was always the last to get ready. She just took her time. I never really knew why it took her so long but, it did. We always teased her about it and she always denied it saying it was because she was waiting on us. We just kept teasing and she kept denying. But we laughed about it. Well sometimes she didn't but the rest of us did. 

    When she came to live with me after she got sick  she always wanted to know where I was and what I was doing. If I was late getting home from work she would worry.  If I got a phone call she wanted to know who was on the phone. I felt a bit put out at times but I told her. 

      She loved to shop at Wal Mart so we went there when she needed things and she still shopped the same way, looking at everything for a very long time. She did move slower because she was sick and she was a lot older but still we were at the store much longer than I wanted to be while she price checked T.P. haha

    There were times I wanted to go do things alone but she always wanted to go too. I understand because she was alone all day. I would come home and pick her up though. In my mind I would wish she stayed home because I just wanted that alone time but we went to do things and usually had a good time. 

     There would be times when I came home from work and I just wanted to sit and not talk. However my mom who had been home all day was full of things to say so she would talk and talk. I would wish for her to just not want to talk but she was very vocal. So we talked. 

    I never really minded taking her shopping but at times it was a bit extra (over the top at times). Sometimes when she wanted to know things that I thought were not really any of her concern it felt a bit extra. I think we can all be a bit extra sometimes. Acutally I am sure my kids think I am extra most of the time. However moms don't do things to be extra. They ask where you are because they love you, they want to know things because they want to be a part of your life even though sometimes they might ask when they don't need to know. It is all done out of love.

    My mom was not just my mom, she was my best friend. She was a sweet and loving woman. One of the kindest hearts I've ever known. We spent a lot of time together and she could be "extra" at times.

    Now that my mom is gone I would give anything for my phone to ring when I am busy and it be my mom or I would love for her to ask me questions that I do not really want to answer. Oh how beautiful it would be to have her break the silence when I am alone missing her by talking to me.  I would gladly let her come along when I want to be alone I would love to wait for her to take her time getting ready to go places and I would give anything in the world to take her shopping and have her look at everything for a long time and price check the items she wanted. I would love to let her be extra. Extra is not a bad thing, yes extra can be inconvenient at times and it can be annoying but at the end of the day extra is wonderful, extra is loving, extra is caring, extra is  special. 

   It is ok to be extra sometimes. Give moms the grace to be extra because someday you will miss that extra special mom in your life. 

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