Friday, August 5, 2016

A New Look at the Saying "Loving Someone Means Never Having to Say You are Sorry"

     Many years ago I watched the movie Love Story. I never forgot the saying that Ali Macgraw's character used often. "Loving someone means never having to say you're sorry." I felt that way many times over the years of my life. I figured if someone loved me they would never do things they needed to apologize for. However life and experience taught me that sometimes people make mistakes and an apology is necessary. Or is it?

     Recently I heard a new saying or rather a new speech, on a show I watch all of the time, Royal Pains. The character told Evan when he wanted to buy a gift for his wife to apologize that a gift is just a bribe and also that he should not apologize. He should tell his wife he understands, he loves her and then never do what he is sorry for again.

     This got me to thinking about that old saying, "loving somoene means never having to say you are sorry." I saw that statement in a new light. Yes we sometimes do things that we are sorry for, we do them over and over again. But really if we are truly sorry for those things "I'm sorry"  are only empty words. It is the action of being sorry that counts. If you are truly sorry an apology is nice but not as necessary as just not doing it again. Being truly sorry.
     Yes we will all make the same mistake more than once, children of course will most often. But I wonder if sometimes we are more sorry that the other person is mad at us for what we did than actually for what we did? Maybe it is more of a bribe for them to forgive for that instant.

     The saying "loving someone means never having to say you are sorry." means that a person should strive hard to avoid hurting others and if they do hurt you, don't use an apology to make it all good. Change the action or behavior instead. That ability will come with maturity but if you truly love and care then changing your actions will mean much more than those two words, "I'm sorry."