I went for a drive today to take pictures. It was a nice drive, it was also a therapeutic drive. It was sad, beautiful and gave me a sense of melancholy. Many thoughts ran through my mind as I went for this drive.
I ended up at some of the places my sons and I used to go. Places where we went swimming, hiking and just hanging out. This got me to thinking and made me sad that those days are gone forever. I will never, ever in my life get that time back. My boys will never be that young again, we will never spend that kind of time together again. I miss those fun times and that is what made me sad.
My mind also wandered off to the times when my boys were even younger and we would go to storytime at the library, or for a walk in the park. Or the times I took them to the park so they could play at the playground. Then there were times when I hung out with friends who had kids their age. We would spend the entire day together visiting and watching the kids play.
I also got to thinking of the picnics we had in the back yard, or the indoor picnics. The times we made the tents in the living room and the houses we built together with legos or Lincoln logs.
As I thought about all of these fun things I did with my sons I became a bit sadder because those days are gone, I will never have those boys back. I will never have those times back. That is sad.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't devoted so much time to my boys and focused more on me, I wish I had done more of the adult things I wanted to do, not because I regret all of the things I did with my boys but because now I feel such a sense of loss and sorrow when I drive to places we used to go or look back on the things we used to do.A sorry at the days gone by...
Then I realize that I have no regrets, I am so thankful that I decided to put my boys first, I am so thankful that I devoted myself to my sons by spending time with them and doing those fun things. I am glad that most everything I did in life was for them. I am thankful I did this because they are only young once, I can do all of those grown up things I missed out on once they are grown. Once they are grown I will never get that time back and I think of all I would have missed out on, which makes me glad for the choices I made.
My advice to all parents is to enjoy your kids while they are young, enjoy all they have to offer, enjoy their laughter, their smiles and well, just enjoy them. Those are precious times you will never be able to get back but memories you will cherish forever even if sometimes those memories make you cry.