As the riots of 2020 are calming down I have done a lot of reflection on the real problem. I have struggled with this piece because my emotions get the best of me and in trying to get my point across I add to the problem that exists through the poison pen. I have gone through so many stages of anger and frustration since the murder of George Floyd, the riots and angry social media comments by others and my angry comments in emotional retaliation. I have lost a few "friends" and angered others. I have felt anger towards people I care about and some who I barely know.
I have noticed that both sides of the issue are full of such a deep seeded disdain right now. I noticed this as I have been working through my own feelings and I realize that I have felt hatred in my own heart. With that reflection I come to the realization that the problem we have in the end is not a race problem, it is a hostile heat problem. So what is the answer to this problem? I am not sure, I heard a saying recently that touched me deeply, be the change you want to see. Those words are so powerful to me! They woke me up because I realize now that I have not been the change I want to see. In my anger I am a part of the problem, my heart is hostile and that hostility is the problem. How I change that is up to me.
I had a lot more to say but today I heard a video by Terrence K. Williams that moved me very deeply. His words echo what I have been feeling and trying to say. I do not feel I can add to his words as they are spot on. I ask everyone to really listen to him, listen with an open heart and open mind.
I have posted things like “if you don’t like how I feel, unfriend me.” This statement I realize, at least in my instance, is full of ugly feelings. It is a threat to others because my heart is feeling so much anger and not the change I want to see.In saying it I am saying, agree with me or else.... It was wrong of me and I hope anyone who saw my angry post accept my apology for posting it.
I see now the only thing I can do to be the change I want to see is change how I respond and react. If I act hateful and mean then I can’t expect others to respond in any other way. If I am kind and heartfelt then hopefully that will come across and somehow help another person feel less hatred. I just know my angry and hateful comments help no one. That is not who I am and not who I want to be.
Terrence does speak of God and Jesus, I hope that those who do not believe in either will please just listen to all else he has to say. His words and thoughts can apply to even to the person who does not believe in God. I hope his words can help the hearts filled with hatred and anger heal and that they can somehow find a way to discover answers through love and not hate. It is hard I know, but it is necessary for peaceful survival.
So you see, it is not a race problem, it is a heart problem I hope we can all sit back, look at our own hearts and decide if we are a part of the change we want to see or a part of the problems that exist. I think this realization will promote unity instead of the division that is tearing us apart.
Terrence Williams video link