As the riots of
2020 are calming down I have done a lot of reflection on the real problem. I
have struggled with this piece because my emotions get the best of me and in
trying to get my point across I add to the problem that exists through the
poison pen. I have gone through so many
stages of anger and frustration since the murder of George Floyd, the riots and
angry social media comments by others and my angry comments in emotional
retaliation. I have lost a few "friends" and angered others. I have
felt anger towards people I care about and some who I barely know.
I have noticed that
both sides of the issue are full of such a deep seeded disdain right now. I
noticed this as I have been working through my own feelings and I realize that I
have felt hatred in my own heart. With that reflection I come to the
realization that the problem we have in
the end is not a race problem, it is a hostile heat problem. So what is the
answer to this problem? I am not sure, I heard a saying recently that touched
me deeply, be the change you want to see.
Those words are so powerful to me! They woke me up because I realize now that I
have not been the change I want to see. In my anger I am a part of the problem,
my heart is hostile and that hostility is the problem. How I change that is up
to me.
I had a lot more to say
but today I heard a video by Terrence K. Williams that moved me very deeply.
His words echo what I have been feeling and trying to say. I do not feel I can
add to his words as they are spot on. I ask everyone to really listen to him,
listen with an open heart and open mind.
I have posted things
like “if you don’t like how I feel, unfriend me.” This statement I realize, at least in my
instance, is full of ugly feelings. It is a threat to others because my heart
is feeling so much anger and not the change I want to see.In saying it I am saying, agree with me or else.... It was wrong of me
and I hope anyone who saw my angry post accept my apology for posting it.
I see now the only
thing I can do to be the change I want to see is change how I respond and
react. If I act hateful and mean then I can’t expect others to respond in any
other way. If I am kind and heartfelt then hopefully that will come across and
somehow help another person feel less hatred. I just know my angry and hateful comments
help no one. That is not who I am and not who I want to be.
Terrence does speak of
God and Jesus, I hope that those who do not believe in either will please just
listen to all else he has to say. His words and thoughts can apply to even to the person who does not believe in God. I hope
his words can help the hearts filled with hatred and anger heal and that they can somehow find a way to
discover answers through love and not hate. It is hard I know, but it is
necessary for peaceful survival.
So you see, it is not a
race problem, it is a heart problem I hope we can all sit back, look at our own
hearts and decide if we are a part of the change we want to see or a part of
the problems that exist. I think this realization will promote unity instead of
the division that is tearing us apart.
Terrence Williams video link
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